Life Without You ...

Meka Monette ~ May 26th , 2004 - November 26th , 2010




Life Without You ...

Yesterday was the hardest day in our life . I thought I had it all under control emotionally . Thinking to myself … your doing what is right for Meka . Little did I realize that my thoughts and emotional state of mind were disconnected from one another .

I agreed to be present when Meka would take her few final breathes of air . I didn’t think that watching the love of 1 little girl , whom touched my heart so very deep would leave me in a place of sever heartache and feelings of complete and total loneliness .

With the sedative injected , I knew I only had countless time with her … talking , holding , crying , and reminding her that Mommy loved her more than anything in the entire world . Reminding her she would soon be free of all the pain she was living her life with .

I wish this upon no one , the most emotional moments , while the injection is administered , her few breaths took mine completely away !

As she withered from me and became dead weight I whispered in her ear , “ Meka …. Mommy loves you more than words will ever be said to you . You will remain in my heart forever baby girl …. I love you so , so much ! ”

My hands running from the tip of her nose over her snout , up and over her eyes , head and ears , slowing the movement down over the front through to the back of her head , down her spine to the tip of her tail .

The doctor then let me have my few final moments alone with the love that was shared between her and I for so long day after day ….

As I sobbed more and more , losing control over my breathing , tears running faster and faster down my face dripping over her silky black fur coat . The emotional state of my mind , body and soul shaking uncontrollably , the door opened …. My husband slowly walks in …

He stated previous days before this tragic day was to take place , he couldn’t bare to be in the room before and after Meka was to rest in peace forever . He said he would be outside the Vet building before and after Meka was to rest in peace . Yet here he was slowly walking in , softly placed his hand over her head and said , “ We love you Meka ! ” .

I balled even more ….

My husband is one of little visible facial emotion . His facial expressions at that very moment were full of visible tears forming , pain which was obvious to his heart and most of all … he knew he lost his cuddle monster , friend and child !

We stood beside her while I clenched onto her as hard as I possible could knowing she couldn’t feel anything at this point . She was now resting in peace , free from all the pain and suffering she was truly in .

While I clenched harder and harder Steve slowly pulled off her beautiful red collar she was given on her 2nd birthday . While the collar was being removed it hit me like a ton of bricks , Meka was not leaving her vet visit with us today . Leaving in only what will now be a memory ….

I let go … placed her head softly on the steel table , making sure her cute tiny little button nose had its last kiss .

Silky fur touched one last time , paws rubbed with one hand , the other running down her spine ending at the tip of her tail . As we started to walk towards the door my husband held me in his arms and said …. “ Meka will always be part of us no matter what … she loved you more than you know and you loved her more than any mother ever could love her child ” .

For those of you that didn’t know Meka . She was never treated like a four legged animal in our house hold . She had dinner with us at our kitchen table , slept in our bed most of the time , while having her own personalized hand crafted bed . Always placed right at the end of our bed which included her own pillow and blanket . She was held like a new born baby even after 6 years of age … weighing in at almost 90 pounds , this was by far a challenge to hold her but she would insist on being held in this loving manner . We made special trips to camp in the evening after work just for her to have her own private swim . Free to fetch the Frisbee , stick , anything she could get us to through out in the lake for her to bring back to us . Her morning truck ride to drive her daddy to work , her evening ride to go pick him up . I raised a complete suck of a little girl who had 4 legs and fur . A girl in which I laid to rest before my time was up .

Some of you may not feel the same way about there beloved animal and many of you can relate . The days spent with your pet is more than just days , it is days you live , learn and grow with each other .

During our marriage , Steve was her daddy and I her mommy , Meka was my helper for most of her life . She was the one who would help me around the house when I was too ill to get out of bed . Watching over me night and day , making sure I was still breathing . Dragging me to the washroom when I didn’t have enough strength to walk there on my own . The one that would help me try and forget about the sever pain I lived with daily . Without the help of Meka , I’m sure I would have landed myself in the psychiatric ward . She gave me strength when I was to week to go on , listened to my words when I had no one to talk to during the day , and most of all loved Steve and I unconditionally . Expecting nothing in return .

Food in her dish , water in her bowl and a walk at least once a day . She was loved by so many people , had special bonds with family members and friends .

She had 2 brothers in her lifetime , one who taught her and the other who gave her someone to be around . With her soft gentle eyes , happy go lucky energy , loving cuddles and kisses , she truly was the best girl anyone could ever ask for .

I truly feel like I put to rest my very own child rather than my child putting me to rest .

I can relate to the pain those who have to endure such pain and sorrow in the loss of their child .

With the life change I recently underwent and never having the ability to have my very own flesh and blood , Meka was just that ! The child I could never have of my own .

I feel that within life we are given challenges we can handle . For the moment we may feel like our world is crashing faster and faster around us , yet within time , time heals all wounds , even those that feel will never be healed .

I loved Meka as if she were the blood of Steve and I . When she bleeds , we bleed , when she was sick , we were sick with her . When she was sad , we were sad too . When she took her last breathe , we took our last breathe with her .

May you rest where you have no painful lumps , run free , scratch less , and live on in the hearts of those you’ve left a paw print in forever !

I miss and love you forever my baby girl !

Mommy and daddy will never forget you …..



May our tears be shed of those memories we had with one another .



WE LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER !!!!