None of which is anyone’s favorite season I’m sure .
A few weeks back I caught a cold virus , which led me to taking a few days off work . I was put on medication in hopes to avoid what is almost inevitable for me . A few weeks passed with some mild moments where I felt like pure and utter crap , to some moments not so crappy feeling . Then the storm in which I thought I had made sure to avoid , came rolling in full speed ahead . Asthma was like a flower in full bloom , yet not as pretty . With Asthma , I can NOT control the severity or the symptoms in which will give me air or take air from me . With the lack of oxygen going in & out of my lungs , leaving me with decisions that in the end of my recovery may cost me my job .
This should not be a questionable thought , yet I question , either I breathe & loose my position at my job , or don't breathe & work .... logic .... Breathing will result to work !
Asthma is draining , emotionally , physically , fearful , and yet misunderstood on so many levels . Not everyone will experience the lack of air in which fill your lungs from day to day .
This is my best description of what an Asthma Attack can briefly feel like ….
You know when you take a drink of that yummy juice you have been craving all day , yet somehow it ends up going down the wrong tube leaving you choking to the point that you now have to “ put your hands in the air ” , in hopes you can hopefully open the airways quicker to catch your breath , then grasp the slightest bit of air to only repeat the choking episode all over again ……
This is by far a mild case of what we Asthmatics endure not only for a moment in time , yet hours if not days at a time . Sometimes we take for granted the air in which we breathe , not realising that perhaps one day you may find yourself in the shoes of an Asthmatic .
I was involved in Figure Skating at the early age of 10 . Progressing to achieve what I thought could be reachable , the dream every skater hopes to come true . To be part of an Olympic Team . Someday I thought this dream could be a reality . Sadly I developed Asthma at the age of 16 , which lead to hospital visits , oxygen tanks , puffers , high doses of a steroid called Prednisone , sometimes doses of 100mg - 150mg a day and many lost days spent sleeping along the way . Sometimes I slept for days at a time , to have been woken by my loved ones who carefully spent days by my side to make sure I was hydrated enough to stay alive . To help me eat even if it were only soda crackers .
My dream was slowly crashing before my eyes . While I spent most of my teenage years in and out of the hospital , days , sometimes even months in bed , the rest of my friends and family were doing what normal teenagers do , they were living life . I suffered so much with Asthma that I eventually had to quit thinking of the dream , just simple skate to skate .
I’m stubborn to say the least , yet this disease will stop me dead in my tracks . Leaving me with decisions that are sometimes those in which leave me confused and unsettled.
During my intense testing for Asthma , I continued to Figure Skate . Bad idea ! This I know now , looking back on my life . Yet in the moment I thought I could go on . I would have regular visits with not just a family physician , here I was attending weekly appointments to see a Lung Specialist . A specialist who advised me over and over to stop Figure Skating . I couldn’t just stop . It drove me to work harder at finding a stabilizing method in which I could do what I loved , which was to skate . I was classified back then as high risk Asthmatic .
With physicians at rink side , injecting me with shots which allowed me to skate my 3 - 4 minute solos . Enough of a boost to go from start to finish which allowed my lungs to go through the most painful moments just so I could have the chance to be able to compete , pass level tests and simply be like the rest of the skaters I spent most of my evenings with .
Asthma then took control of my life and there I was . Left to make a final decision , much like the decision I face today . Do I stop what I love for the sake of the air in which I gasp to find , do I take time off work to catch my breath or do I continue what I love and skate my heart out , risk my lungs for the sake of not being jobless .
I sure hope not !
Asthma is a common chronic inflammatory disease of the airways which leads to airflow obstruction . Not everyone will experience the classic symptoms but they may include wheezing , coughing , chest tightness and shortness of breath which in combination could have the production of sticky mucus ( phlegm ). Asthma may start out as cold like symptoms for some and others it may be acute symptoms in which you know your having an attack . For some the treatment of acute symptoms is usually with an inhaler called Ventolin ( Salbutamol Sulfate Puffer ) for short - acting relief combined with Flovent ( Fluticasone Propionate Puffer ) for long - lasting relief . Some people in mild or sever cases , may be significantly impaired such that no wheezing is even herd . Running up a flight of stairs , walking faster than normal , smells , cleaners , infections are all triggers that effect everyday of my life and the life I live from within the walls of Asthma .
During my very first few attacks , I reported extreme chest pain on my right side , followed by a Chest X-Ray . My result was 2 fractured ribs . The result of coughing so hard that it put that much strain on my ribs causing them to fracture . One of the ribs cracked to the point that it was holding on by a thread . Each and every time I have an Asthma attack or a common cold , my chest hurts more than just having the attack on it’s own . I experience extreme levels of pain . Symptoms are believed to often be worse at night or in the early morning , or in response to exercise or cold air .
This is on target for me !
They say some people can have stable Asthma for weeks , months or even years and then suddenly develop an episode of acute Asthma . Some individuals react differently to various factors and the severity of symptoms may vary from person to person , which can present primarily with coughing , wheezing and breathlessness .
I know in my heart that any decisions I make in my present moment , are those in which focus on each single breath of air . Air I am able to allow into my lungs to continue to the next moment , lucky to have yet another breath of air reach inside to say , that’s one more moment in life I can say I lived !
For those that suffer with this scary disease my heart truly goes out to each and everyone of you . To suffer and be misunderstood is the worst feeling . To have others make you feel as thou your disease is something of similarities to a common cold , is poorly disrespectful .
If each and every person who looked at you or said to you that they have Asthma , yet state it doesn’t effect them the way it has affected you . Think to yourself and ask them this very question …..
Have you lost consciousness due to an Asthma Attack ?
Life is unexpected which leaves you with unexpected illnesses or diseases . Endure life’s challenges sometimes alone , or with others who know exactly , exactly what your illness or disease is like .
For those that say they know , walk 1 day in the shoes of an Asthmatic and time yourself to take 1 single small breath every 1 min , holding it in to only exhaling the next minute , then to hold that exhaled breath till the following minute . Continuing the cycle for 10 breaths of air . Then ask yourself , do I really truly know what Asthma is really like . If you can say you were able to catch your breath after doing this exercise more than 10 times in a row and feel fine . To sit there and not be dizzy at all , have chest pain or simply continue to breathe like you were just 10 minutes ago before you started this test . Your never going to understand the difference yourself who can breathe normally and the difference us Asthmatics . We have the hardest time gasping every inch of our body just get 1 solid breath of air deep into our lungs !
I know in my heart that to breathe is more important than to worry about some job or the dreams I wished so much to come true . When your faced with reality as quick as 1 second to the next , you take each and every moment different . You learn to live in the moment and forget about what your future will hold . For future is meant to change and become unknown . If it were to be known you would not be living life .
Those who watch you gasp for 1 breathe , stop everything , patiently waiting to hear you catch your breath , those are the people who care . Those that sit by your side and watch you breathe while you sleep are those that make sure you live to open your eyes to see them 1 more time .
For every breath you take , think of someone who’s only wish is to breathe without the gasping for just 1 single breath which reaches deep within .
Today I live 1 breath at a time until my Asthma is back under control and I hopefully don’t see it again for another few years .
Take care of you , your body , your lungs , your heart , your mind and soul .
Your special to those who love you , remember this .
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