Today is day 18 in the recovery process . I am itchin to capture anything I possibly can , yet im unable to at this point . It is amazing how much you love something till you are unable to do it . I miss my clients , I miss my days just shooting anything in sight , yet I sit here and I know for fact that once this 3 month term comes to its end that I will be able to shoot whatever it is that passes me by , or what captures my eye !
I love the fact that my NEW LIFE is beginning , and to know that the choice that I chose was in fact the best one ever !
I have been receiving tons of help from family and friends , and to know that those that have been helping me are making the recovery process that much easier on me .
I wonder and I dream , about all the things I will be able to do again , that for the longest time I was unable to do . I was speaking with my husband a few days ago , he mentioned to me that perhaps we would finally be able to get out and use the tennis rackets we purchased over 2 years ago , the though excited me so much that I now find myself itching to get out more and more .
It is amazing how when you are in a position where you were sick , sick , sick , yet forced yourself to move and capture peoples life , to going to barley moving at all , that you sense the urge to just want to jump knowing that you cant just yet , but in time , the things that you once couldn’t do , or did with the dreadful illness creeping up on you , that one day that would finally change forever !
I went for the surgery knowing that it was for the best .
I had many fears , never expressing them mind you , wondering what it would feel like after surgery , how would I react to what was around me , would I have questions , or regret , would I finally feel free at last ?
I tell you this , if I didn’t go through with the surgery , I don’t think I could sit here today and state the obvious of all .....
How great I feel !
Sitting here and having no pain , getting out and just walking to the end of the driveway and back , or to the next driveway and back , come in , sit down and no illness creeping up on me ....... what a feeling this is !
I thought that things would be more challenging , things would be harder and that I would cry more , or have more emotions that I do have . I thought that for sure some thoughts would never fade , yet all I can think about is what I will be able to do once im fully recovered .... The thoughts are so overwhelming , I truly don’t know what I would like to do first ..... I know for fact that I would love , love , to find myself out on Manitoulian Island , out at the Stanley Park area , the place I had my honeymoon 7 years ago .... and be there this time sick FREE !
I know that what ever it is that I do in my life from this point on will be eye opening , life changing , and most important precious to my heart , knowing that what I once forced myself to try and enjoy , and not really feeling the full effects of it all , I will be able to feel yet again .
I have moments where I just tear up knowing that the things in life people tend to overlook , or take for granted , I will not . I will accept anything that is on my path with the new life I finally get to begin . a marriage put on hold , now the feeling that I have just taken my vows , and said " I Do ".
Children might never be a part of my life with my husband , yet I know that there is good reason for the life I have now !
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